overcoming demons

Life, a good day out with the boy and some daemons dealt with

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So, typically, just after a post about depression not being a case of good days making it better Iv had a good day.
My partner (no name yet) hobbled off to work, we took girl to school and then jumped in the car and drove. I didn’t know where I was heading, but we ended up in exeter, which is nice because the last time I was making the same drive with the boy it was to see mummy in hospital (daemon 1).
We had a wander up the street and were able to potter around a games shop (new games, which will be talked about soon) and charity shops. This was pleasant because Iv come to realise over the last few days- and specifically after a late night talk with my partner- that it’s been a while since I had a focus. Now, walking around charity shops isn’t a focus, but it’s a bit of normality and doing something that makes me happy (or eases my mind in a weird way). (daemon 2 not really a daemon, but a restoration point).
Then we made our way into the local games workshop, as I have explained previously, I’m not bitter about leaving, but it’s still strange, it’s been a long time since I was on the other end of a 10C conversation. (I did pop into the Cribbs causeway store a few weeks ago, but that’s people I know and that won’t try the sales patter). So yes, it was strange to be on the receiving end of it, but I realised three things

1. Knowing it from both sides makes it much easier to resist spending
2. If I were to go back to GW I’d be better at the conversations (yes, from one experience of it I’d be better)
3. It’s a really pants system, I mean, it’s not, it’s ok, but it’s a basic guideline that GW focus on as the be all and end all of every interaction with every person that comes into your shop. I knew this before, and maybe it’s my experience of using it that makes me more aware of the clunky conversational steps.

I should point out that I won’t be going into detail on the 10C’s, it’s not my place to, but go into a GW, pretend you’ve never seen it before and you’ll be taken through step by step.

Anyway (daemon 3)

On the drive home the boy fell asleep and I was left to my own thoughts (not always safe) when it dawned on me we were nearly home, I’d made it without really focusing. You see driving doesn’t excite me, or even interest me, I don’t like doing it, whereas my partner quite enjoys it, or at least enjoys it more than being a passenger. Funny enough, she’s the worst passenger Iv ever had.
But recently she’s been less able to drive so Iv been the chauffeur. It’s been ok, but Iv felt almost as though Iv lost my driving sense, my confidence on the road. Today I felt better. (daemon 4).
So, we’re home, it’s school run time, and I make a sensible choice, I could walk to the car, get the buggy, put the boy in, then walk back to the house and onto the school. Ok. Or I could walk the boy through crowds, roads and chaos. Not easy, but preferable. Or I could pop him in the baby carrier and carry him. Yeah, it’s easier. I’m still not a huge fan of it, but the practicalities definitely make it easier.
Also, given that it’s something of a peculiar look- a dad essentially pregnant- it can take a lot to actually do it, and Iv not had the confidence to draw attention to myself in some time (daemon 5).

So, all in all a good day, there’s a few hours left and the girl is doing her best to drive me mental, but I’m coping.