So, today my partner was in tears, disability and the restrictions or brings are getting her down- this is obvious but recently it’s been more so.
She doesn’t have the energy levels to do all she wants to and is too stubborn to take it easy or relax until it’s too late.
This creates a few problems for me,
Firstly, it reiterates my recent post regarding always being right and not knowing what to do, I don’t know how to help her. Or when i do, I don’t know how to switch her ears on to make her listen.
Second, her despair leads to my despair leads to us both struggling, and you can’t be struggling with two kids running around, they sense it, and play up to it
Finally, guilt kicks in again. She has repeatedly referred to me as her rock, the stable calm crutch to her crippled body, and now I feel as rocklike as jelly. I don’t have answers, or even supporting words, you see, all that time I was her ‘rock’ I was just cheating, by constantly reassuring her all would be ok, because all was calm it was. But now, when that doesn’t work I don’t have the answers for her, or the words.
It’s tough to reassure her and keep her spirits up when mine seem so crushed and non existent, but I do feel as though my recent lifestyle changes have had an immediate impact on my mood and temperament, I’m on a fitness kick and I’m making social steps, so with any luck my reserves will stock up again, and I’ll firm up to rock level again
Everybody who has ever used a computer knows to save their work on a regular basis
And everybody who knows this has lost work because they haven’t saved work on a regular basis.
I was a good way through a discourse on life love and the universe when my internet cut off and I lost it all. So right now I’m a little frustrated at a few things;
– THE law of computing- save regularly- I didn’t remember it in the moment, it should have reminded me, or auto saved as I typed
– myself, I was so wrapped up in my writing I didn’t save what I had written. And the reality is I can only blame myself
– the wordpress app- because for some reason when the internet cut out it deleted a huge chunk of the block of writing I had been writing, what a silly thing to have happen.
So what did you miss out on?
I was writing out my life breakdown points and was going through fears and ambitions, when I lost everything but what I had written about love.
However, it made me realise that rather than write one long post covering everything that I may as well write a more detailed post on each, so I can really expand my thoughts on various things
So to summarise
-save work regularly. Lesson learned (again)
– chill. It’s gone, don’t stress about it.
– you can all expect a hopefully better list of posts as I expand on my life