Life, a moment of despair

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So, my partners away this weekend leaving me in charge of the kids. No issue Iv done it before, and it means she can get her vital hours on dental courses completed.
But this one was tougher, leading into it has been a few nights of the boy not sleeping at night and the girls not being her most cooperative at the moment. Well, I cope, it’s fine, except recently it’s been harder to cope, I can’t tolerate the constant streams of daddy, daddy, daddy every time something major / minor / inconsequential happens.
Well, the day went as badly as it could, the boy refused to nap and spent most of the time squealing at me, the girl refused to do anything she was asked to and seemed to switch her ears off. She spilt cereal all over the kitchen, moaned about lunch and nagged, nagged, always nagged.
So, I got them wrapped up and went for a walk to the shop, with the promise of buying a cake if she behaved (well placed bribery can work wonders), and suffer through daddy can I have… daddy can I have… daddy can I have…
So we get home and it starts all over. Dinner, early night for both and a moment of peace for daddy. And that’s where the despair sets in. Not only is this the first time as a dad that Iv has a feeling that I just can’t cope, but I realise I can’t get that break that I need. My partners gone away (albeit for work) but due to her care needs there’s no way I can arrange to get away myself. And the despair gets worse when the guilt kicks in, I shouldn’t want to get away, I love my family and I would do anything for my kids, but the thought of being stuck with them for eternity makes my left arm tingle and my chest ache

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